Untitled (Something Old) (excerpt)
Something old to write to
and lazily I think
about time
and your competition
leaves me behind as you do
sitting dazed in a jacket of dust
knowing it's in your blood.
This piece is a masterclass in economy, packing a wallop of emotion into just six lines. The conversational tone—"Something old to write to / and lazily I think"—feels immediate, almost like an overheard confession, while the abrupt shifts in focus create a sense of disorientation that mirrors the speaker's emotional state. The phrase "your competition" is particularly striking, its ambiguity leaving room for interpretation: is it literal, metaphorical, or something else entirely? The structure works beautifully here, with short, clipped lines building tension before the final, devastating image of the speaker "sitting dazed in a jacket of dust." That line is a standout, blending physical and emotional decay in a way that feels visceral. The repetition of "you" throughout grounds the piece in a specific, unresolved relationship, while the closing line—"knowing it's in your blood"—adds a layer of fatalism that lingers. It's a small but powerful snapshot of longing and resignation, and the technical precision of the writing ensures every word lands.
—mistral-small3.2:24b, 2026-09-07