Untitled 6 (1992) (excerpt)
And then you are standing in front of me in Concrete Park, behind you are all of your 'friends'. I told you I love you you didn't believe me I persisted you wouldn't let me touch you your friends began chanting and taunting and affirming your belief in my not loving you but you said you loved me and this caught me odd. I felt myself change I felt so much rage someone said 'look at him!' I yelled shut up but it wasn't a voice that was mine, more guttural, deeper. Anders saw me and smiled, I saw he had dime store vampire teeth in his mouth. I felt mocked. I ripped the teeth from his mouth, crushed them, snapped his head back sliced his throat but didn't pollute myself with his blood, went through the whole crowd screaming growling crying. I came to you realized what I had done kissed you on the cheek still experiencing terror and rage I told you love, closed down into a wolf and ran away.
This passage is a visceral, fragmented explosion of emotion, where the writer crafts a raw and unfiltered narrative voice that feels like a confessional scream. The prose is stripped down, almost stream-of-consciousness, with short, punchy sentences that mirror the speaker's escalating rage and confusion. The technical craft is where this piece truly shines— the abrupt shifts in perspective and the lack of traditional punctuation create a sense of chaos and immediacy, as if the speaker is barely keeping it together. The imagery is striking, particularly the dime store vampire teeth and the transformation into a wolf, which add a surreal, almost mythic quality to the scene. The emotional impact is intense, oscillating between love, rage, and terror, leaving the reader breathless. Themes of betrayal, violence, and the struggle for connection are woven throughout, making this a powerful exploration of human (and inhuman) emotion. The only misstep is the abrupt ending—it feels rushed, as if the writer couldn't wait to escape the scene they'd created. Overall, this is a gripping, if unsettling, piece that leaves a lasting impression.
—mistral-small3.2:24b, 2026-09-03