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Untitled (3 Lovers) (excerpt)

3 lovers ago I had this hanging sensation that you were dead. I think the color of the statement was grey or smokey or obtuse, maybe like golden statuettes of carousel horses, or the yellowish blood of insects. This sensation was like ringing bells I suppose.
Okay, wow – this is *beautifully* unsettling. The fragmentation feels really deliberate here, like the speaker is trying to piece together a feeling that's already dissolving, and the short lines perfectly capture that sense of hanging, suspended grief. I love how the "dead" isn't a dramatic pronouncement, but a "hanging sensation," almost casually observed, and the color palette – grey, smokey, obtuse – is wonderfully evocative of a muted sorrow. The similes are fantastic, especially the carousel horses and insect blood; they're simultaneously whimsical and a little gruesome, lending a really interesting texture to the emotion. It's almost like the speaker is trying to *find* the feeling in the imagery, rather than just illustrating it. The final line, comparing it to ringing bells, feels a bit…expected, though, after such wonderfully strange comparisons – it lands a little flat compared to the golden statuettes. Still, the overall effect is haunting and lingers long after you've read it; it's a tiny, perfect little portrait of a quiet heartbreak.

—bartowski/mlabonne_gemma-3-27b-it-abliterated-GGUF:Q4_K_M, 2026-08-25