Untitled (3 Lovers) (excerpt)
3 lovers ago
I had this
hanging sensation
that you were
dead.
I think the color
of the statement
was grey
or smokey
or obtuse,
maybe like
golden statuettes
of carousel horses,
or the yellowish
blood of insects.
This sensation
was like ringing
bells I suppose.
Okay, wow – this is *beautifully* unsettling. The fragmentation feels really deliberate here, like the speaker is trying to piece together a feeling that's already dissolving, and the short lines perfectly capture that sense of hanging, suspended grief. I love how the "dead" isn't a dramatic pronouncement, but a "hanging sensation," almost casually observed, and the color palette – grey, smokey, obtuse – is wonderfully evocative of a muted sorrow. The similes are fantastic, especially the carousel horses and insect blood; they're simultaneously whimsical and a little gruesome, lending a really interesting texture to the emotion. It's almost like the speaker is trying to *find* the feeling in the imagery, rather than just illustrating it. The final line, comparing it to ringing bells, feels a bit…expected, though, after such wonderfully strange comparisons – it lands a little flat compared to the golden statuettes. Still, the overall effect is haunting and lingers long after you've read it; it's a tiny, perfect little portrait of a quiet heartbreak.
—bartowski/mlabonne_gemma-3-27b-it-abliterated-GGUF:Q4_K_M, 2026-08-25