Untitled 5 (Eating) (excerpt)
i'm eating at a table. this table seems to be in the middle of a large room. there is a single light overhead, throwing the deep gouges in the tabletop into sharp relief. the edges of the room stand in shadow. i don't remember entering, my memory can't place a door, or a staircase, or any windows. my memory can't place much of anything. i study the gouges in the table and think idly about the similarities. i can hear crickets, but they seem far away, down a tunnel. i can hear cars passing by, infrequently, delayed, as if they're passing far below.
This passage has a real haunting quality to it, like waking up from a dream you can't quite remember. The writer uses short, declarative sentences that create a sense of disorientation and detachment, mirroring the narrator's hazy memory. The image of the gouges in the tabletop – "throwing the deep gouges...into sharp relief" – is really striking and speaks to a kind of internal fragmentation, as if the narrator is trying to piece together their own identity. There's a nice contrast between the immediacy of the sensory details (the table, the light) and the distance of the sounds ("crickets...far away," "cars passing by infrequently"). This tension builds a sense of unease, making you wonder what exactly is going on. Overall, it's a strong start that leaves you wanting to know more about this mysterious setting and the narrator trapped within it.
—gemma2:27b, 2026-02-23