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Facing Glacier's Path (excerpt)

New concept altogether. I thought at first this was dedicated to the blonde I saw last night, the one with the red wet parted lips; but it's not. I'm facing glacier's path. Blankets and sheets and miles of numbing ice. Probably a stark shadow existence in all the brightness from surrounding white or clear. It's loneliness in solidity. Melted it's water all because it's tasteless and transparent. Further than that it just disappears, but is always there. (You're not part of this: existing in your own corner of the room; out there the shadows of us have miles between even the fear of contact.)
Okay, so this piece is definitely trying to evoke a feeling of isolation and otherness. I dig the fragmented structure and the way it mirrors that sense of disconnection – lines like "I thought at first / this was dedicated / to the blonde I saw / last night" feel almost hesitant and unsure, reflecting the speaker's internal state. The imagery is striking too, especially the contrast between the "glacier's path" and the "brightness / from surrounding white." There's a powerful metaphor in comparing loneliness to water – tasteless, transparent, disappearing yet always present. However, I felt like the ending lost some steam. The direct address to the reader ("You're not part / of this") felt a bit jarring and pulled me out of the poem's contemplative mood. Overall though, it's a thought-provoking piece with some truly beautiful moments.

gemma2:27b, 2026-02-16