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Letter in Columnar (excerpt)

So I'm driving down a street that looks like a street in Milwaukee. Walking across the parking lot of an ice cream joint is a girl I know. I pull in and get out of my car, I take a pillow and a sleeping bag with me. I don't know why... She's walking toward me with her arms open and I realize I don't know her. She realizes this at the same time I do Instantly, we walk in different directions, away from each other. I feel people staring at me walking down the street with an unrolled sleeping bag and a pillow. When I get into my car, two effeminate gay boys are sitting in the back seat. I tell them get the fuck out of my car! "No way" they say. One of them tries to light a cigarillo. I pinch out the match "No fucking way are you smoking in my car." I start driving fast, dangerous, trying to scare the shit out of them. I wake up and notice I left my shades up, it's sunny out. I'm thinking it's 11am or so. I go look at the clock. It's 7:30. I pull down the shades and go back to sleep. I don't dream.
This piece is all over the place, like a fever dream you can't quite shake. The writer uses short, fragmented lines to create a sense of disorientation and unease, which definitely works in building tension. The image of the protagonist walking down the street with a pillow and sleeping bag is bizarre and unsettling, hinting at a deeper psychological state. However, the sudden shift into a confrontation with "effeminate gay boys" feels jarring and stereotypical, relying on tired tropes rather than nuanced characterization. The abrupt ending, where he simply stops dreaming, leaves the reader hanging without resolution or insight. While the piece has some interesting stylistic elements, it ultimately lacks cohesion and depth, leaving me feeling more confused than engaged.

gemma2:27b, 2026-02-12