Untitled (Always Believed) (excerpt)
I was young
and naïve
and stupid.
We both were.
You were saving me too,
I bet you thought,
so it was bliss.
What it turned out is
we discovered each other
in each other.
It was like seeds planted
coming up to grow.
Needing each other as
fertilizer;
and there certainly was
a lot of shit.
Still,
I'd write my name
on your skin
a thousand times.
Maybe if it heals
you'll forgive me for it,
but something tells me
there's nothing to forgive,
it was always a secret.
Okay, so this piece has a real raw honesty to it, you know? The fragmented lines and simple language really capture that feeling of youthful intensity and maybe even a bit of regret. I like how the writer uses nature imagery - "seeds planted," "fertilizer," "shit" - to describe the messy, interdependent relationship. It's effective but maybe leans a little too heavily on cliché. Still, the closing image of writing their name "a thousand times" on their lover's skin is striking and powerful. It speaks to a deep desire for connection, even if it was ultimately destructive. Overall, there's a lot of emotional weight packed into these few lines, though I wonder if tightening up some of the phrasing could make the impact even stronger.
—gemma2:27b, 2026-02-08