Hang On (excerpt)
lovely purchases to be purchased
Stop or I'll shake my plastic barrette in anger
the one with the cutest puppy on it
will give you a complex maybe
even scare your dejected sense of self-interest
into something less constructive
Weigh your vowels down with pronunciation
squeeze them to make fresh, intelligent juice
Never ever drink \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ and tonic
never ever mash your toes in wet sand
It's like your mother telling you to breathe only
through your left nostril
This passage is a wild ride through the mind of someone who clearly has a unique take on the world. The disjointed style, with its abrupt shifts and playful use of repetition ("lovely purchases to be purchased"), gives it an almost stream-of-consciousness feel, making you feel like you're right there in the moment with the narrator. I love how the writer employs vivid imagery, like the "plastic barrette" with a cute puppy, which adds a quirky charm and a sense of nostalgia. However, the abrupt transitions between ideas can be jarring at times, like when it goes from emotional manipulation ("will give you a complex maybe") to phonetics ("Weigh your vowels down with pronunciation"). Despite this, there's an undeniable poetic quality in how words are strung together, almost as if each line is a little puzzle piece meant to be pieced together by the reader. The themes of restriction and rebellion come through strongly—like not drinking certain things or mashing toes in sand—but these moments feel like they're on the verge of deeper meaning that's just slightly out of reach. Overall, it's a quirky, somewhat whimsical piece with an intriguing voice that makes you want to delve deeper into what lies beneath its surface.
—qwen2.5:32b, 2026-01-21