Untitled 5 (excerpt)
What is the natural effect? What the fuck is that? I don't like to think these things out. I'd like you to help me, give me a hand. Leave your big cheeks in the closet and make yourself a sandwich. Tell me where paradise lives. Tell me what it's made of, how it smells, and teach me the language. Exhume the bodies of squirrels and lift them to another place, where their insides are made of taffy and happiness grows on trees. Certain special love I can't breathe, can't drink, laid on so thick gotta eat it, I smell it ripe and frightening.
This passage is a whirlwind of surreal imagery and raw emotion that makes for an intense reading experience. The writer's voice is unapologetically visceral, with phrases like "leave your big cheeks in the closet" offering a jolt of unexpected humor amidst the more haunting elements. Structurally, it's a stream-of-consciousness narrative that leaps from one vivid metaphor to another, creating a disjointed yet cohesive flow that mirrors the chaotic state of mind being portrayed. The emotional impact is potent—there's an underlying frustration and desire for escape or transformation, evident in the plea for help and the fantastical wish for squirrels with insides made of taffy. However, there are moments where the density of imagery can be overwhelming; lines like "certain special love I can't breathe, can't drink" could benefit from a bit more clarity to fully convey their intended depth. Overall, it's an intriguing piece that challenges and provokes the reader, demanding close attention to its unique literary landscape.
—qwen2.5:32b, 2026-01-04